Mom: Happy Thanksgiving

Last week was an exciting week at the Cook house. It started last Sunday. I could tell Susan wasn't feeling great - her nose was runny and she was sneezing. That night, she hardly slept at all. It was pitiful. She was also grabbing her ears - a sign of teething or an ear infection. The next day, we decided to go ahead and take her to daycare - even though she had maybe slept 6 hours all night.  We figured it was a cold and there just wasn't much we could do.  But I called daycare to see how she was doing around 11 a.m. and apparently, she wasn't sleeping and her ears were draining. So I called the doctors and they said to bring her in. So I picked Susan up and she was so pitiful. Usually when I pick her up, her face lights up and she greets me with a huge smile. But on Monday, she could hardly lift her head and she was just a little river of snot. So she and I trekked to the doctor. She immediately fell asleep in the car.

We got there at 1:35 for our 1:45 appointment. We see Duke Peds but our pediatrician is at a different location then where we went on Monday. But we has been here before for a potential sick visit and were very happy with the doctor we saw. WELL that was not the case on Monday. Susan and I waited in the waiting room until 2:15 and were finally called back. Where we waited in the tiny room for another 30 minutes. During this time, Susan was so cranky and tired. She kept nodding off on my shoulder. At 2:30, I was pissed and angry and marched down to the nurses station to find out when we were being seen. Of course we were next in line but we still weren't seen until 2:45. I went over all of her symptoms and the doctor checked her out. Then it was time to check her ears. I had to hold Susan sideways on my lap, with her legs between mine and my hand holding her head down on my chest. The doctor tried to look and based on what she saw in Susan's left ear, wanted the supervising pediatrician to come check her out. So then we waited some more! Then the supervising pediatrician came in and we had to repeat it. Only this time, trying to hold her still in my lap wasn't happening. So he made me lay my baby on the exam table, hold her arms down and lay my body across her little body so he could examine her ears. IT WAS HORRIBLE. She cried and screamed bloody murder in my ears the entire time. And it took forever because first the doctor had to clear the drainage before he could see inside! And of course she was "iffy" for an ear infection, whatever that meant.  So he gave us a prescription for an antiobiotic and numbing ear drops.  We finally left at 3:15!!!!  I got her home, gave her a bottle and came up with a cold-battle plan.

She slept much better than night, thanks in part I am sure to her new Vicks Warm Air Mist Humidifier, as well as the numbing ear drops.  Tuesday I stayed home with her so she could get some rest.  I had already planned to take Wednesday off and so did Chris.  The plan was to host Thanksgiving at our house, but with Susan feeling sick, we decided to wait and see how Susan was feeling Wednesday morning before making a final decision and letting my mom host in Greensboro.  Well Wednesday morning came and it was obvious she was feeling better.  My brother also flew home that morning, so my family stopped in with him at around 7 a.m. on their way back to Greensboro.  By this time, Chris and I were starting to feel yucky but were sucking it up.  On Wednesday, I cooked all day, and received a lot of help around the kitchen from Susan and Chris.  We also discovered that Susan's FIFTH tooth erupted sometimes between Saturday and Wednesday.  Go figure.  Took the last tooth four weeks to erupt; it took this one four days.  I am sure the matching 6th tooth is not far behind.

Feeling better on Tuesday

Helping my mama in the kitchen on Wednesday

On Thursday, Susan slept great and woke up happy.  She still wasn't feeling great, but was definitely feeling better.  Around 9, she laid down for her nap and Chris and I finished getting dressed and turned on the parade.  It was so nice.  Then my family came over (next year Chris' family will be able to come too) and we had such a wonderful day.  The food was wonderful and the company was even better.  Susan sat in her high chair and just talked to us and played while we ate.  We had and have so many things to be thankful for, so it was wonderful to share the day with everyone and celebrate all of our blessings.  I am sure Susan didn't really understand what we were talking about, but she could tell it was an exciting day (as her pitiful afternoon showed).  Christmas is just a few weeks away and while our plans are still very up in the air (cross your fingers Duke is playing in the Belk Bowl), it will still be wonderful.  And we have so many wonderful family traditions to share with Susan and to start as our own little family, which we are really really looking forward to.

Mom: Baby Stats at Eight Months

I know, we get a huge F in blogging, especially me. Things have just been really crazy and hectic since September.  We are currently going through our first cold, which was preceded by the TOOTH THAT WOULD NOT ERUPT, but finally did.  But we have also had some wonderful things happening to.  I don't want to complain too much because we have so much to be thankful for.  It is so hard for me to believe that sweet Susan Louise is already 8 months old!  Time has flown by.  Nine months of pregnancy creeped by, but now that she is here, time is going by too fast!  Below are all of the stats.

Weight:  Not sure, we think somewhere around 23 lbs.
Height:  Not sure, we think somewhere between 28 and 29 inches
Next appointment:  12/20 at 9 months and we will get all of her official numbers
Teeth:  FOUR (lower central incisors, upper central incisors aka her two front teeth)
New Foods:  carrots, asparagus (she loved it but made her a little gassy so we will bring it back later), cottage cheese.  Two servings at breakfast, two at lunch and three at dinner.  These are baby bullet servings, so one serving is about 2 oz. of food.  Next week we are trying white potato and watermelon!
Bottle:  4 times a day, about 6 or 7 oz per bottle.  We have started introducing the sippy cup, but she still has to work on tilt.  We are starting with Nuby but I have been researching other sippy cups.  One mom saw me looking in the aisle the other day and she said "Good luck.  We still haven't found a good one."  Her daughter looked about 2.  Ahh, new challenges! You know I will take suggestions.
Clothing:  12 months
Diaper Size:  4
Sleeping:  10 to 11 hours at night, two 1.5 hour naps during the day.  This is her sleep on the weekends, so basically 13 to 14 hours a day.  Still working on our daycare naps, although they are getting longer.
Favorite Toys:  Stacking cups, Herman, Sophie, Spring Roller, Fisher Price balls
Likes:  Crawling; pulling up; Itsy Bitsy Spider; Peek a boo; tickles; clapping; rolling the ball back and forth with us; watching us play with Oscar.
Dislikes:  She still gets bored and we have to shift gears once she lets us know that she is bored.  She HATES the snot sucker.  For my pregnant friends, keep the one they give you in the hospital, and try to snag a few extras.  We managed to snag three and they are pretty handy to have on every floor of the house and in the diaper bag.
Milestones:  On Monday, Oct. 29, she crawled over to our ottoman and pulled herself up.  She is such a little champ.  She hasn't had any trouble figure out how to get down once she pulls up.  She either gracefully turns to the side and gets back on her knees to a crawl position or just lets go and falls on her cushy bottom.  A few days later, she started clapping her hands.  Now she pulls up all the time and loves to clap.  She is babbling more, but more like "mumumu" and " a few "gugugu" or "gagaga."  No real discernible "mama" or "dada" yet but when we say it to her, she smiles so big like it is the best thing she has ever heard.  Her favorite sounds to make are "oh" and "ah."  It is adorable.

Eight months old and battling her first cold.  She is such a trooper!

Dad: The Great Pumpkin

Growing up, my family didn’t carve pumpkins on Halloween. I remember painting a few (including an awesome Ninja Turtle pumpkin that I made my mom paint when I was probably about 6 years old), but I can’t ever recall watching anybody in my family murder and gut a pumpkin in the name of All Hallow’s Eve. Mary Jane’s family, however, carved a pumpkin every year, so we decided to make that our Halloween tradition with Susan.

The only problem was that I had approximately zero experience in pumpkin carving – other than the Jack O’ Lantern debacle of 2007, which is something that I’m still trying to move past. However, as a dad I'm supposed to have "Dad Skills" to make up for all the times I put Susan's pants on backwards, bump her head while playing airplane and let her watch football when she should instead be napping. Pumpkin carving is very much a dad skill, so the job of crafting the World’s Greatest Jack O’ Lantern fell squarely on my shoulders. Succeed, and I could proudly display my handiwork in photo albums for years to come. Susan would come to idolize me for my pumpkin-crafting skills, and one day she would brag to her husband how awesome her daddy was at carving pumpkins and that he would never ever be as good as me, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe the Louvre would call wanting to preserve my pumpkin for their next Fruit Art exhibit (is a pumpkin a fruit?). But if I failed and gave the pumpkin three eyes or a crooked smile or made it look like Sloth from The Goonies, then Susan’s first Halloween would be ruined and she’d see me as a disappointment as a father for the rest of her life. Or so go your thoughts as a first-time father when it comes to making something for your daughter.

Things didn’t start off well, because to carve a pumpkin you actually NEED a pumpkin to carve and that’s not something we just have stored away in the attic. “We’ll just get one a few days before Halloween,” we thought. “They may be a little picked over, and what’s left may have those weird white spots and a little plagiocephaly, but we’ll find one that works. It’ll be like adopting the ugly dog at the pound that nobody wants but later turns out to save your life after you’ve fallen down a well or gotten crushed under a monster truck tire.” The Cooks’ First Pumpkin: It would make for a great ABC Family original.

So two days before Halloween, we set out to the Pumpkin Headquarters that is Wal-Mart in search of our flawed-but-special pumpkin. Except when we got to Wal-Mart, all they had were those stupid gourds that stores try to pass off as funky, non-conformist, anti-establishment pumpkins that you find on the doorsteps of hipsters who feel the need to push back against the social restrictions placed on Halloween by “The Man”. Not even Gallagher wants those pumpkins. (I apologize if any of you reading this bought those gourds...I commend you for your non-conformity)

Even Gallagher isn't enough of a hipster to buy a gourd on Halloween.

Our next stop was Home Depot, which was another letdown since we were told that all of their pumpkins rotted. We said a prayer for the lost souls who would never get to fulfill their purpose of being carved and were instead tossed in the dumpster out back where the raccoons and possums would eat their sweet insides. At that point, Susan was getting tired and fussy so we decided to give up and try our best to avoid any future conversation about how we failed her as parents during her first Halloween. We went home thinking all was lost and that we both failed at giving her her first Jack O’ Lantern before dad even had a chance to screw up the carving.

It was bad. Until Mary saved the day.

It’s sad that I'm conditioned to think that if Wal-Mart doesn’t have something, then it’s likely that nobody else will. It was the day before Halloween; I had given up all hope and was even pondering buying a hippie gourd as a poor substitute. Then Mary, who realized at some point in the day that our forefathers never went to Wal-Mart for pumpkins but instead got theirs from a PUMPKIN PATCH, called me and said, “I GOT THE PUMPKIN! THREE OF THEM!!!” Then she went on about some project where we carve out the other two pumpkins and put flowers in it or something – I’m honestly not really sure, because my mind was already locked in on the perfect plan of attack for making Susan’s first Jack O’ Lantern the best she would ever see. It would need triangle eyes, a big open grin and three teeth – exactly three teeth, no more, no less.

When I got home to see the pumpkins, they were all magnificent, but it was clear which one would sacrifice it’s rind and innards to become Susan’s first pumpkin. It was huge and round and orange and had the perfect surface to carve out a face. Linus would have shat his pants had he seen this thing. 

We set out newspapers in the garage and put Susan on the floor. Mary sat in a chair, keeping Susan at a safe distance so as not to disturb me from my work. I doubt Leonardo Da Vinci had to constantly keep a handsy baby at bay when he painted the Mona Lisa, so I consider myself an even bigger success than he was that I was able to do this with Susan trying to “help.”

I started to draw the outline of the face in permanent marker, but Mary subtly suggested that I use a pencil...in case I “changed my mind” about what I wanted it to look like (in wife-speak, meaning if I mucked it up). I took her suggestion and started to trace, but I didn’t have an idea of what I wanted it to look like. I needed something to model it after, something that has a few teeth and smiles all the time. The dog? Too many teeth. Mary? Telling her that her face was the perfect model for our pumpkin didn’t seem in my best interest. Susan?

BINGO.

Using the pencil, I traced the outline and used two knives (one of which was a nice steak knife that I didn’t get permission to use...sorry Mary) to carve the eyes, which popped out in two perfect triangles. I tried to show Susan how GREAT of a job her daddy was doing, but she was too busy stuffing newspaper into her mouth to care. The pumpkin’s mouth was next, and while it took me about 15 minutes to cut it out, it turned out perfect. I showed Susan, she tried to claw out the eyes, and I took that as her way of saying, “OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN THANK YOU DAD YOU ARE THE GREATEST FATHER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS.” And I was pretty pleased with myself.

Greatest Jack O' Lantern she has ever seen.

I proudly placed the pumpkin on our doorstep where something like 80 trick-or-treaters saw it that night. Now we have this awesome picture to put in our photo album and a great memory from Susan’s first Halloween. Also I’m not a disappointment as a father, and most importantly, I didn't have to write a blog about "The Halloween when Daddy lost a finger."

Dad: Baby-Proofing

A little over a week ago, Susan figured out how to crawl. She first popped up onto all fours about 3 weeks ago and started rocking back and forth shortly after that. Once she figured out how to move her hands, it was on. We had started baby-proofing house before she crawled, but now we really have to get a move-on. I set her down in the living room the other day and got up to go to the kitchen for a second. When I looked back, she was gone. Her ninja skills are already well-documented, but this was some next-level Foot Soldier stuff.

Once we started baby-proofing, it became clear pretty quickly that “baby-proof” means “moderately adult-proof” as well. I have a theory that the makers of this baby-proof stuff don’t want a lawsuit on their hands, so not only do they make sure that their products are secure enough, but so difficult to put together that they can claim that you installed it improperly if it fails. I can’t even put her stacking cups back together, and now I’m supposed to modify a two-story house with a super-open floor plan, a flight of 16 stairs and a gas fireplace? 

WHY WON'T YOU FIT

When you start baby-proofing, you learn that your house is basically a death trap. There are sharp edges, choking hazards, strangulation risks and things on the floor that you don't even know about until they end up in your baby's mouth. Susan might as well be crawling around on a bed of nails surrounded by fire and lions on the streets of Philadelphia after the Phillies won the World Series.

Maybe they should baby-proof the entire city of Philadelphia.

Needless to say, I’ve had a little trouble so far. Look at the outlet covers that MJ stuck all over the house. They have what I assume is meant to be an easy-to-grab tab made for adult fingers that, in theory, grown-ups can grab, squeeze and yank out of the outlet. I’ve got the grab and squeeze down, but I haven’t quite mastered the pull-out-of-the-wall part. What instead ends up happening is the loss of several layers of skin on my fingertips as my thumb and index finger slip off the “grooved” surface which apparently was molded in the same factory where they manufacture cheese graters. Now every time I want to plug something in, I need a screwdriver, band-aids and a tube of Neosporin. Every single outlet downstairs is plugged up, so I’m pretty close to giving up on electricity and embracing the ways of the Amish. At least our energy bill will be lower for the next few years.

The next project was to construct baby gates in front the stairs. “Construct?” you may ask. “Don’t you just pull them out of a box and put them in front of whatever area you want to keep the baby away from?” Well to that I say, “YES, YES THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.” Instead, because of our ultra-wide stairway, we have to piece together three different “easy-to-assemble” segments, secure them into the wall and onto a stair rail, and do it in such a way that the gate doesn’t crumble like the Berlin Wall the second your curious baby accidentally falls head-first into it. Also, you have to use a screwdriver and a drill, which totally violates the “easy-to-assemble” mantra. About midway through night two of construction, I pondered hiring Gandalf and having him stand guard in front of the steps.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! Now stop crying.

I complain, but the point is that this stuff works. Susan gets into anything she can put her hands on, and we don't want her to get hurt. It's impossible to watch her every second of the day, and she tends to get mad at us when we throw in her Pack & Play every time we need to get up and do something. There are still a few cords to wrap up but I think we’re mostly baby-proofed, at least downstairs where Susan spends all her time. We still have to watch her like hawks because she’s already trying to pull herself up on anything she can reach. This is just one of those unavoidable truths of parenthood, that just when you think you have everything figured out, your baby decides to take a monumental leap in development and totally undo whatever sense of normalcy you had previously established. Pretty soon she'll be popping out the outlet covers herself and unlatching the gate so she can scoot upstairs and color on the walls. Maybe then she can teach me a thing or two about how to move around in my own house.

One day.

Mom: Creating a Mom Network

Some people may view Facebook, Twitter and all of the social media websites as the downfall of civilization.  (In my opinion, Honey Boo Boo and Teen Mom are the downfall of civilization but that is for a different soapbox).  I mean, let's face it - we are more connected than ever.  One of my biggest pet peeves (and I mean makes me want to scream into a pillow) is when we are at a restaurant, I look around and I see couples who are at the table, both playing with their cell phones.  Or families where the kids are playing with their Nintendo DS and Dad is checking his email.  I swear, it makes me want to go apeshit.  Thankfully, no one in my family is that thoughtless, rude or uncaring as to ever just whip out their phone while we are all having a nice dinner or even just sitting around chit chatting in the family room.

My point is, we are very connected.  And it's addicting!  It is hard not to check Facebook, Twitter, your email, etc. 24/7 because we all have smart phones and iPads.  So we actually have to make an effort to put our phones up at night (i.e., put them on the kitchen counter and walk away) so that we aren't tempted to spend our time together in silence, playing on our phones.

But in some ways, being so connected is a blessing.  It allows us to keep in touch with people we might have lost touch with.  It allows us to inappropriately check out what is going on in the lives of frenemies or ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends.  Most businesses today could not survive without Facebook.  We even shop on Facebook now.  And if you are a new parent, Facebook provides a forum for advice and help from other new moms!

A few of my friends from high school and college have had babies.  A few more are pregnant now.  Reading their blogs, their Facebook updates and looking at their pictures can be so comforting.  Especially when you and your baby are going through a difficult time.  Take teething for example.  The first week in October, Susan was teething again.  I expressed my frustrations (aka bitched about it) on Facebook.  I received several comments from friends, including some from friends who had friends with kids, with suggestions on how to help Susan.  We tried a few (unfortunately, the amber bracelet did not work) and then saved some to try for the next round of teething.  But my point is, without Facebook, it would have been difficult to get those suggestions.

Also, for example, when I didn't believe my pediatrician that Susan couldn't wear sunscreen until 6 months and we went to Florida when she was 3.5 months, I messaged a friend from high school on Facebook.  I remembered that she and her husband had taken their daughter to the beach when she was that age, and I wanted to know what they did.  She confirmed what my pediatrician said and then gave us great suggestions about how to let Susan enjoy the beach while staying safe.  And her tip on what kind of beach hat to get was super helpful. 

Facebook has been such a wonderful tool for this reason.  I mean, it is pretty much the only way this blog gets read.  And while I may not have stayed in touch with these people if it weren't for our shared plight (and that is, being a parent, especially a new parent, is scary as shit and its nice to see other people are struggling and scared too), but thankfully, we can all unite around motherhood.  I remember reading in some of my pregnancy or motherhood books that sometimes, new moms can be competitive and judgmental.  Well, I have not felt that way at all.  Or at least, I am not trying to compete.  I'll tell you right now that I do not have it all together.  I have bumped Susan's head on the door putting her into her carseat more than once.  I have sat on the floor of her bedroom and cried with her when she couldn't fall back asleep at 2:30 a.m.  I have wished she would nap just a little longer so I could sit on the couch for ten more minutes because I am so exhausted.  I have had bad morning with short tempers.  Trust me, I am not competing with anyone.  And I am so thankful to have friends and co-workers who have babies and who aren't judgmental when I have questions.  So I guess my biggest piece of advice to my friends who are pregnant is, don't be afraid to ask for help or ideas.  Yes, you will know what works best for your baby, but hearing war stories from your friends and tips and tricks that they found helpful really is beneficial.  And always remember, this too shall pass.  Until the next big development.  If I have learned anything over the last 7 months is NOTHING STAYS THE SAME FOR LONG.

So thank you to all my friends for all of your help and support.  I am sure I will be calling on you again soon!