Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wife: Today Was Awesome

Well, yesterday I was really sick.  I felt so awful that I took a sick day and stayed home.  Then last night, I started sobbing.  I mean the kind of hysterical, out of control sobbing where you can’t catch your breath and when you try to talk it is kind of like a shriek.  I was just so tired and felt so bad.  I was really upset about it.  Unless you have been pregnant, it is so hard to understand this out of body experience.  I don’t feel like myself.  I don’t have ANY energy.  NONE.  I am tired all the time, but tired doesn’t really describe it.  Extreme exhaustion.  And I miss the old me, who was super productive at work, cooked when I got home, and exercised early in the morning.  And I know in about 6 weeks, I will get that old me back.  So I sobbed and Chris brought me tissues.  He made me realize that it is okay to feel like this, and that my body is working so hard to make the little raspberry aka baby.  He told me to cut myself some slack about work and how I feel when I get home.  So I stopped crying.

Then this morning, I was getting ready for work.  I felt better.  I was putting on one of my shirts when I realized it was too tight across the chest.  My boobs have gotten huge (I am even wearing a not so sexy, utilitarian maternity bra) that the shirt I selected was too tight.  So I threw the shirt at the window, sat on the bed and started sobbing again.  It was awful.  Chris, who was in the shower, heard me, and with shampoo in his hair, got out and came to comfort me.  He really is the best thing ever.  He made me feel better, I selected another shirt and we moved on.

Very important to keep a box of these around.

And I was pretty productive at work today.  I started getting really worn out around 1:30 which is pretty normal now.  But I knew I was leaving early to go to my first doctor appointment, so I powered through.  At 3:15 I left work and headed to the doctor.

We got there pretty early.  While we were waiting, I started dozing in the seat.  Then the nurse called us back, and we went to the room.  I got into my little gown and we waited for the doctor.  We saw the ultrasound machine hooked up with my name on it, so I knew we were going to get to see the baby.  Well, the doctor came in and answered a few basic questions and then did the ultrasound.  She found the baby right away! We could see the head (very large), little arm buds and little leg buds.  We also saw the yolk sac.  She took a few pictures too.  We could even see the heart beating.  Then, she let us listen to the heartbeat!!!  It was beating 170 beats per minute.  She said that was a good strong heartbeat.  Then she looked around at some of my other lady areas to make sure everything was cool (which thankfully, all my lady areas are good).

Baby Cook's first picture!  I won't put it on Facebook but I am going to show it off here!

Well of course I started crying.  But these were happy tears.  The nurse gave me some tissues and Chris squeezed my hand.  It made feeling like a crazy person so worth it.  While this part of the pregnancy is not currently magical and the happiest time of my life, after seeing the baby and knowing that it is really in there, it’s all worth it.  I know I can handle 6 more weeks of craziness.

So then my doctor explained how my next few appointments were going to work.  This appointment was simply a confirmation of pregnancy.  All she did was the ultrasound to see the baby, take the baby’s measurements and determine my estimated due date, which is March 27, 2012.  I go back in two weeks on 9/1 for a nurse visit, where I do lab work, and we give family histories.  Then, I go back two weeks later on 9/15 to do my first OB visit and full physical.  After that, I go every four weeks until I hit about 28 weeks.  I am really excited.  Now everything seems real.  It was hard to believe I was really pregnant before (despite all the crazies).

So despite all the non-magical and unhappy time this current trimester is, seeing the baby and hearing the baby’s heartbeat makes everything worth it.  And I am sure these next 6 weeks will fly by and it will be the end of September before I know it!

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